Well all my complaining about being tired?  I shouldn't have.  Ally-tude was sick earlier in the week, the boys were sick all last night (literally)and I'm just as sick myself.  I called in and talked to the temp agency and told them that the boys and I were sick, and I also called HR and told them at KCSD.  I layed down for a bit, then they called me back.  Apparently, my job position has been deleted.  Now I don't which I'm more sick over.  I really wanted that job, I was smoozing with the right people, I was fitting in well (I thought) and my work was almost flawless.  10 minstakes in 2000 forms.... thats not bad if I do say so myself.  Apparently though, it hasn't only been me that they let go.  The KCSD let go all the temps through my company.  The girls from the temp office are non-to-happy.  They plan on going to the KCSD tomarrow anyways, to find out whats going on.  They are going to pick up my belongings, and let me know what they had to say.  I feel rotten, that was a dream job.  There is a reason for everything, I know that, but I would love to know the greater purpose. 

 

So with Smacktard quitting is job, getting my wallet stolen, and now losing a dream job....... I should be done with bad luck for awhile.  Good thing I didn't put the kids in permenant day care, sheesh!  I wouldhave had to pay several hundred up front!  Least I can spend a few days with the kids till my next position comes open, I guess there is a plus side to everything.  Somthing more positive next time.

Wow!  Been a few days sence I checked in.  Toadman had his play at school.  Talk about a big boy.  He was acting like a wild-man, but he did so well!  He had a part speaking, a singing part, and he got to slide across the floor on his knees during one part!  I was so proud of him!  Yes, Smacktard showed up, and to be honest?  He didn't act the fool at all during the play.  He was even mannered!  He gave his seat to me, although I felt like I should be checking it for explosives.  LOL.  As soon as all the kids came in and climbed up on the bleachers I pulled out my camera ready with brand new batteries (yes, I had to use my batteries damn it!!) and went to take the picture and the damn thing wouldn't work.  I messed with it and messed with it :( Nothing.  So no pictures of Toad's play will be posted.  Take my advice is was absolutely wonderful.  I seen the two women from the PTA meeting and made it a POINT! to go tell them how nice their shoes were.  Just to prove to them that I'm apparently the adult in THAT situation. (thanks for the kind words btw, yeah, they are a couple of snobs).  I told both of their girls what a great job they did, and that I'd see them soon!  If looks could have killed? I'd be dead........... and it was sooooo worth it.  Allytude was in the potty and Smacky and the boys went to the book fair.  I could hear Smacktard all the way down the hall on the other side of the building hollaring at the boys.  Not cussing or anything (this time) just yelling obnoxiously.  I stayed in the little girls room.  LOL, no way I was going to be "associated" with him. 

 

On the way out, another mother stopped me.  Apparently she had been at the meeting too.  She said that she wanted to say hi.  Apparently she's new.  I was thrilled!  Yay!  Maybe a new friend!  First rule? Never tell your friend where you live.  Second rule?  Invite new friend and children to an outing.  I got her number, I'll call her soon.  Weekends are booked up for awhile.  I'll still call her though, just to say hi. 

 

Special thanks to DustmanKC for fixing my breaks for me tonight!  You're a life saver!  And my SBG for running a bill to the office for me!  Wow!  You guys rock!!!!  I'm so tired, I can't make it anymore, I'm going to bed.  I'm thinking about writing a story soon, stay tuned!

Picture of me wth highlights........ now you may return to your normal lives

Friday night, the kids' dad picked them up.  Yes, I was shocked.  I tried to think of any excuse not to send them, but I could find none.  He looked clean, not all doped up.  He also had carseats with him, that he put together in front of me, then I watched him buckle them in.  The kids all waved and blew kisses as they left.  I waved till I couldn't see them anymore.  Full range of emotions running through me.  I went into the apartment and sat down on the couch.  What now?  I picked up a few things, I made some phone calls that I could make without the kids bugging me, then when that was done, I just sat there.  What now? 

 

After awhile the quiet was bugging me.  After so long with noisy kids and noisy neighbors, it was too quiet.  Finally, I had enough and made my way to SBG's house.  I brought some hair dye stuff with me, I figured instead of paying a professional, maybe we could do it.  After using that box for the highlights, we realized all that it did?  Was make my hair coppery.  I was a little scared to be honest, I have learned to like my hair, even though it looks crazy most of the time, besides with a new job?  They really like you to look neat and profeessional.  Everyone at SBG's house went to bed early, and left me up alone, so I talked to Lil Bit till the wee hours. 

 

I've realized that sometimes, when someone is really really tired?  They have been under a great deal of stress, and are just starting to see the light again?  That sometimes when your talking to someone online, your tongue starts to wag to much.  I let somthing slip while talking to someone online this weekend, that I really shouldn't have said.  Now I'm analyzing everything, which is a terrible habit of mine.  I literally beat it to death, give it CPR and bring it right back around to beat it some more.  I really don't know when to shut up at times, as if you can't tell by the mile long blog entries I make.  I talked to SBG about it this morning, almost in tears, because I really didn't know what to do.  They kids aren't here to occupy my mind, and I couldn't stop thinking about things.  She told me to quit it, literally, that I was being rediculous.  After some convincing, I was fine again, and read to tackle a new day. 

 

We redid my highlights and also ManBoy's hair (which he made me fix for the better part of an hour. uhg.... he's 15 and he's worse than a girl about his hair.  Cute kid, but sometimes I wanna smack him!).  Both of our locks turned out wonderful.  Now I'm done with being beautiful.  We didn't take pics, we all took naps and slept all day sheesh!  Maybe next time.... yay! kids come home tomarrow, I miss them...

Today was my first day of work for the KCSD.  What did I do you ask?  Why data entry my darling dear!  It was a dream job compared to the warehousing painting I was doing last week.  I found out today that this job will last through October 14,2006.  To be honest, I felt a little deflated.  I went ahead and picked up my stack of papers and went over the excel sheets putting them all into another charted paper, which I had to write by hand then later type up.  WTF!  I just put it all into the computer system (that no one knows how to use I guess) and then screen printed the sheets.  You should have heard the oooohs and ahhhhs.  You would have been thinking that I had just invented the wheel!  Sheesh, all I did was a screenprint.  I noticed my boss checking over all my numbers and such, double checking me, and she didn't find a flaw one.  I hope I impressed her.  A chance to get in at the KCSD is a great oppertunity.  It's a lifetime job, not a temp job that ends in a week, or a job waiting tables. 

 

I've decided to ride the bus back and forth to work.  Park it near the downtown bus, and ride in.  Forty bucks a  month for parking is a little steep, when it's only 1.25 to ride the bus.  Yeah, I'm cheap I know.  Perhpas we should have a "what bus people do" category.  We shall see.

Tonight, I finally got a check.  None to soon I might add.  I had been working at WagWag for three weeks and still hadn't got a check.  They paid every week (or so they said) but seemed that no one was around to sign the checks or mail them or even let me know what was going on.  Everyone seemed so clueless, and I was infuriated.  Especially, after I lost my wallet.  Needless to say, I was so excited I jumped for joy at the mail box.  I must have looked like the crazy white girl in my neighborhood, leaping around like a crack head, but I didn't care.  Finally, toilet paper and coffee!  I loaded the kids up we went to the bank to cash my check.  I had already talked to a girl at the bank yesterday and the day before, about my stolen bank card, she immeadiatly remembered me and greeted me by name, now thats the way I like things done.  I introduced my kids, and she talked to all three of them, then we sat down.  I had to wait for mycheck to be cashed, and the other bank tellers didn't like it to much, how smug I felt wth my "connections".  My connection being a little bitty brunette with a perfect body, perfect hair, and a nice wiggly butt.  Sheesh, some girls have all  the luck, anyways I digress.  So as we are sitting there waiting, the kids start getting antsy and start to figet.  She immeadiatly sees whats going on, and brings crayons and blank paper.  What an angel!  That may not sound like much, but for three small kids?  Thats the difference between "Mommy, look at the picture I made you.  Mommy? MOMMY? MOMMY!?!" and "Ouch Mom, he hit me!  Well he was being stupid, he's such a crybaby, Mom Ally-tude hit me with a book! (in unison)".   I have to say I'm very impressed with her customer service.  I think I'm going to stop using the bank at Walmart, and start using it in HappyRock (teehee, think I'd tell ya the name?).  She seriously was the bomb.  She cashed my check, and I took out enough for the phone bill and for the sitter.  I looked at the rest and put it all in my pocket.  As we were driving down a main drag, I seen that Cap't D's had a kids eat for .99 cents deal wtih an adult meal!  What a treat!  So we stopped, after no allowence and no extras for a couple few months, the kids were more than obiging to be good inside the restaurant (Yes, I have been known to drag three kicking screaming children out of a restaurant, and yes, I beat their ass, then we go home.  Mean yes I know, but I do demand a few things).  So we all were very well behaved and all sat down to dinner. 

 

 We all were sitting there eating and Ally-tude was talking up a storm.  Toadman did well on his Social Studies test, he got a M (which is like a B), and played kickball at recess.  He almost got into trouble for bringing a weapon to school.  Which was a broomstick handle and a pop can all taped together to make a hammer for the school play.  The teacher (who was a subsitute filling in for the post-pardom normal teacher) had no idea.  I had to giggle.  Doodle had a two thumbs up day!  He had inside recess and played checkers most of the time.  He also ate sloppy joes for lunch and cereal and toast for breakfast at school. LOL.  They seemed to have had an awesome day.  I have to admit, I had a great day too.  I went down and filled out the rest of the paperwork for my job tomarrow.  My background check came back ok, of course, I've never been in any real trouble.  I took my drug screen today, and I should have no problems with that either.  I had a nice chat with an older black woman raising her teenage grandson.  He was back in the area, I didn't ask questions, it wasn't my business.  The "young man that grandma adored" came out, and didn't look like a thug,  just a normal kid.  Sometimes living in government housing?  You can tend to get the wrong impression about people, not all people are the same just cause they are one color, sometimes it's easy to forget.  Anyways, went back into the little room, and washed my hands, and peed in a cup (and on my hand) and then washed my hands again while giving the cup to the latex gloved nurse.  She noticed my last name, and mentioned that she knew my ex-father in law.  I told her I was happily divorced, she actually knew my ex-husband and my ex-father-in-law, and readily told me that she thought the whole family was nuts, and that she liked me cause I seemed genuine!  I was very please, it was a very nice compliment to receive.  I left feeing on top of the world.  I had to drive clear to the south side of KC, which is about 45 mintues from my house.  The area of town that I had to go through was the area that was targeted on my wallet theft.  I drove around the area a bit, sence I was already there (yes, my doors were locked tight, and I had my hand screwdriver in hand).  I realized that all these places are within five or six miles of each other.  I even located a couple of the grocery stores where they used the money off a food card.  I didn't stop and go in, I'm not ten feet tall and feeling bullet proof right now.  As I drove back over to the highway, I sit at a light at look up.  I seen a traffic light with a camera sitting on it.  I get to the next light and there is another.  All up and down SouthWest BLVD the traffic lights have cameras.   I could track down the criminals using the traffic light cameras.  Of course when I got home and called, I was told that there still isn't a detective working the case, and that she didn't think that there would be one.  Sheesh, cops, go figure.  Do everything but hand them the bad guy, and they don't want to go get him. 

 

I drove to my sister's work, and stopped and met up with her.  We went to get some lunch, some hole in the wall joint downtown that had THE BEST ruben sandwiches.  YUM!  RiRi and I split a sandwich and decided our butts were too big for fries.  We sat there jawing, she had an hour lunch break.  It felt good to be hanging out with my little sister for a bit.  Through the past 10 years of our lives, it's only been the two of us really.  The only one I can truely talk to and who understands me is my sister.  To be honest?  I kinda feel that way about Lil Bit too, just cause we knew each other as kids.  I have another friend, let's call him SoulsWolf (yes he will be in the character list).  More about him later.  So my sister and I are smoking a cig waiting for our hair appointment.  We were going to get our hair done, me for my interview tomarrow, and her just because.  It was her turn to pay for the hair "dids" and off we went.  I wanted to get mine trimmed and highlights.  I wore my hair down today, and she looked at me and said 95.00.  I looked at her like she just had a monkey pop out of her butt.  Seriously, I about fell over.  How in the world do people afford that kinda stuff!  I looked at RiRi and she looked at me and we just both turned around and walked out of the store.  We ended up getting our nails done instead.  I have to admit, just having my nails done?  I feel like a girl again.  Painting in a warehouse, clad in your oldest clothes, inside of a paint get up that is no use to wash, because it's just gonna get more paint on it anyways, with a do-rag over your hair and your hair braided up, really left me feeling a little more manly than soft and feminine.  Having my nails done really kinda put me in the mood again for the office.  So I was in high spirits.  Came home and chit chatted on line a bit then the kids came home!  We did all of our night running, and even went to Walmart after dinner.  I desparately needed an answering machine, and could finally get one.  So I spent the twenty-five bucks and got one, and then the kids were handed there allowence.  Toad-12.00, Tanner 8.00 and Ally-tude 4.00.  Ths is like a months worth of allowences.  LOL, don't get excited and camp out in my living room or anything.  Toadman and Doodlebug put their money together and got their sister the new Barbie and the 12 Dancing Princesses movie.  Allytude used her four bucks, and two that I gave her, and got her brothers a couple little toys that were inexpensive, but they loved them none-the-less.  I was so proud of them, must kids would be greedy and hoard their money, or spend it only on themselves.  My kids buy for each other, for me, or donate most of their allowence.  I encourage that, and I really brag on it alot.  We got home, and the kids watched the movie while I planned out my day tomarrow.  Got my bus schedule all figured out, and made out bills.  Wrote out a grocery list, and finally sat down to smoke a cig, and the phone rang.  It was SoulsWolf. He was very upset, and told me that I had better sit down.

 

It's never good news when someone tells you to sit down.  SoulsWolf lived next door to me when we were kids, his brother and him used to terrorize me and some of the other neighborhood girls I grew up with (one who is now a youth-minister's wife, and also a boy that was in my class when we were in school, anyways, I digress again).  SoulsWolf's brother passed away two days ago in a highspeed crash from Kearny to Lawson, close to where I grew up.  I know the highway they raced down like the back of my hand.  I had seen it on the news the night before, but didn't know that the wreck involved my old friend's brother.  The family is devastated, and to make it worse?  This is a highly publisized wreck!  The news reporters have been ringing the phone off the hook, showing up at the door, with cameras and microphones.  The police department is being questioned and scoffed at, and here is a family that is greiving the loss of their child, son, brother, friend, and father!  How horrendous.  After I got off the phone with my friend, I felt very thankful for my white trash bungalow, and for my tiny three bedroom messy apartment.  I was happy that my kids were fighting and arguing and playing karatee, and not somthig worse that I'd rather not think about.  It made me ashamed, to have been so stressed and wrung out from the activities of the past three days or so.  I was thankful for all the problems, because at least I had them.  I had all three of the kids, and they are perfectly healthy, without a trace of death on them.  Sometimes perspective is a very very good thing. 

(pick up from last entry)

 

I called back the 1800 number that was left.  What I heard next blew my mind.  The lady on the other end of the line told me that they had put a temp hold on my debit card.  I was shocked!  She told me that between 1:21 pm and 3:38 pm there for 4 authorized charges for pre-payed gasoline.  I had been at work the entire time.  My wallet that I couldn't find earlier had been stolen.  They were trying to still use my card up until midnight that same day!  The bastards got me for over 150.00 worth of gas at the time that I talked to them (about 5:30).  They shut down my debit card, and I begin calling all of the other cards that I had in my wallet.  I made a police report, and the police told me that there wasn't much they could do, that this kinda of things happens all the time.  No sooner did I hang up the phone and my cell rang.  It was the temp agency that I've been going through to find another job.  They want me to start Friday!  I was so excited that I gave a little "whoop whoop" in her ear.  I then realized oh hell, I don't even have gas money, all the money in my account has been cleaned out.  Needless to say, I was a nerous wreck all night of the 19th.  I put the kids in bed, then laid down myself.  I layed there and laid there, even though the bank would return the money and dispute the charges, I would still be broke for the next 10 days.  Worse than broke, in debit.  Finally, in the wee hours of the morning, I got back up and decided that I was pissed and had to do somthing.  I started calling back all my cards and asking where the purchases were made,and grabbed the phone book.  All of the charges were in the Rainbow/Southwest Blvd area.  All in the inner city.  CRAP!  No way was I going down there.  So I started writing down everything and makign a plan of attack.

I got all of the charges and the times, and pulled up MapQuest.  I realized that they would have had to find my wallet and immediatly start charging things within an hour.  Even got it down to what roads that they might have taken to get to each place.  When the kids got up yesterday, I took them all to school, then went about replacing everything in my wallet.  I went back to the police station and gave them all my information, and they still said that there wasn't much they could do!  WTF!!  So I'm out for a bit, but things were at least going to be put right. 

 

I've been losing weight again (the mid-life flux) and now I can fit into my old jeans.  Little did I know, that there was 20 bucks in my pocket!  Yay!  So that way I could get my Drivers License back and such.  Thank god.  So today I went for my drug testing and my computer skill testing.  No problems there, I'm positive of that.  So now?  I start work tomarrow! Yay!!

On the 19th I had an interview with the Kansas City School District.  This was a huge break for me, after painting a warehouse for a month, I'm ready for a "girl" job again.  I don't mind hard physical work, but to be honest, I'm lazy, I like sitting at a desk too.  I left my house in plenty of time to make it there by eight am.  I have to cross the river because of Englehood is on the north side of KC.  So I drove through rush hour traffic, still having plenty of time.  I get to the end of the bridge, and there is a little fender bender, however it seems to have stopped both lanes of traffic heading into downtown, from the bridge.  There is an access road that I see other people taking, so I follow in suit not wanting to be late for an interview.  I followed the line of vehicals hoping they knew where they were going, but honestly having no idea myself.  I knew the cross street and address of where I was supposed to go.  I had ten minutes to get to my interview by this point.  Somehow I ended up in a pretty bad part of KC.  What we call "the city".  It's the inner city, where the cops don't even roam around alone.  Lost and running out of gas and I looked at my watch, it showed 8:00am.  Disgusted with myself, and wondering if I shoudl still go or not, I kept driving.  Lost and turning in circles, I called the agency that sent me to the KCSD and she was cutting out badly on my cell phone.  I didn't want to stop and get out of the car, even in daylight, I didn't feel comfortable doing it.  I locked the doors on my car, and kept trying the staffing agency, for some reason the call just wouldn't connect.  Finally, I pulled over to the side of the road and called my sister at work.  She's the manager for a hotel downtown, I don't know why I didn't think of it before! 

 

So I dialed my sister's cell phone number and she picks up and only says, I'll call you right back from work and then hangs up.  At this point a pair of homeless guys walk by me and look at me pointedly both obviously talking about me.  They kept walking around the car looking at me, both shuffling their feet, they had not dropped their packs from their backs but one was switching shoulders, one to the other.  I felt like a caged rabbit, lost and scared, while two wolves circled, licking their chops.  I lit a cigarette then looked around the car with my eyes, looking for a weapon.  I found a screwdriver in the glove box, and held on to it with a death grip, my hand cramping, burning up my wrist, but I dared not to let go.  The cell phone chirped loudly, scareing the hell outta me, why in the world did I stop.  On a side street at a dead end, not far from the river.  I made sure that the two homeless guys seen that I was talking on a cellphone, and started the engine again.  When I started the engine the two hobos started backing off, and talked to each other.  While I talked to my sister on the phone explaining what was going on, they two straglers seemed to lose intrest in me and went about their merry way.  I was relieved and ready to burst into tears.  My sister talked me all the way to her hotel, which was only about 10 mintues away tops.  At this point it is 8:30am, I'm seriously late, and I called the staffing agency from my sister's hotel, and they told me to still go, and to just do my best.  My interview was only 15 blocks away.  I quickly drove there, trying to stay right on the map.  When I got to the place where the interview was to take place, I noticed all the construction.  They have started building the new Sprint Sports Arena right across the street from there.  I was pulling out my hair by this point.  I parked clear over at 10th and Grand at a meter.  I hated parking so far away, not that the walk bothered me, just the fact that I would have to walk all that way in the city.  In the day time downtown isn't so bad, but at night, it's not the best place to be.  Thank God it was 8:50am and not twelve hours later.  So I took my keys and my portfolio and hid my purse under a blanket in the car (where it couldn't be seen) and locked it up, ready to make the 3 1/2 block walk to the KCSD.  I clip clopped in my clunky interview shoes, all the way there.  I sqaured my shoulders, ready to prove my worth, and was stopped by a security gaurd.  He asked for my ID.  I felt my pockets, and realized that I didn't have my wallet.  I had left it in my purse, I didn't even think to bring it!  He wouldn't let me through without it.  I rolled my eyes, and damn near stomped out of the entryhall security station and kicked off my shoes.  I ran 3 1/2 blocks, thankfully making most of the lights all the way back to my car.  I unlocked it and dug around for my purse, grabbed my wallet, took a drink to quench my aired out dry throat and had the door locked and I had turned to run back by the time I had finished swallowing.  I grabbed my shoes and took off running back the 3 1/2 blocks to the KCSD.  Knowing that I wouldn't get this job, but unable to stop.  At this point I was going to the interiew if it killed me, I was too pissed off NOT to go now.  I stopped about a 1/2 a block from the building, and couldn't run anymore, I put on my shoes and checked the bottoms of my tights (no holes or runs thank god) and slipped on my shoes.  I smoothed my hair and tried to get my breathing under control again.  I walked quickly, trying to ignore the looks that people were giving me.  They must have thought I had lost my mind, I know I would have been pointing and laughing.  I get to the building, give the gaurd a dirty look and show him my drivers licience.  He smiles "polietly" but I'd say more sarcastically, and he wrote out my visitor's pass.  I asked him where I should go, and he just smiled and said "I'm only the security gaurd".  JERK!  So I find the elevators and looked for HR, I figured that would be a good place to start.  Luckily for me, that was exactly where I should go!  The girl at the desk told me that I was expected an hour ago, by this time it was 9:05am.  I apologized and asked if the staffing agency had called her, and she said no they hadn't heard anything!  I was shocked and angry, but was not about to be disuaded.  After about 15 mintues, a very well dressed and perfectly manicured woman came out and shook my hand.  I squared up and stood up tall, grasped her hand, and looked her in the eye and apologized for my lateness without trying to make excuses.  We talked for a bit about qualifications and I showed her my awards from school and my letters of recommendation.  She seemed impressed, but also let me know that lateness would not be tolerated.  I cringed inwardly, but tried not to let it show.  I assured her that if she hired me, that she wouldn't regret it, that I'm a diligent worker, and I am detail oriented.  She told me that she would be making her descion this afternoon.  On the way out of the door, she said "Not to offend you, but you have yellow paint in the back of your hair, did you know?"  I could have died.  I have been using yellow "caution" paint at WagWag to paint the warehouse from the four foot mark down.  As I got into the elevator another woman got in with me, carrying a ton of papers.  She missed her step and dropped a few of the files from the top, I helped her get righted up, and she was stable.  She told me thanks, and I smiled.  I wanted to cry.  She looked at me, and said "Bad interview?"  I said that I really blew it, but at least I made it.  She just smiled and said "Well you never know, you might be surprized".  I thanked her and walked out of the elevator and headed out the the hall into the make shift, gaurd station.  The attendant got up off his extra large butt, and sauntered over my way.  I signed out and pointedly wrote extremely slow.  He had been reading a book and had gotten up to come "attend" to me.  I wrote my name and the date and the time I signed out then I took off my time taking off the sticky name tag/visitor's tag so as if not to ruin my good silk shirt, and placed it on the other side of me, than where he was standing.  I looked him in the eye, smiled, and said "hope you have a good day".  As I walked away I could hear him mutter "bitch" under his breath.  I didn't care.  I knew I lost the job, but I made it, and that was a feat in itself.  By the time I got to my car I was humming to myself, and ready to go paint.  I had brought all of my paint clothes with me, but I couldn't change at WagWag, so I stopped by QT and grabbed my bag and headed in to change clothes inthe bathroom.  A man greeted me at the door, and held it for me, we smiled at each other and I went past everyone else.  I took off my silk shirt and my floor length flowered skirt, my tights and my dress shoes and folded them all neatly and put them in the bag.  I pulled out an old pair of boxer shorts, a sports bra, and a tshirt and hurried threw them on.  Grabbed the pair of men's socks stuffed into one of my old tennis shoes and put them all on also.  I put the bag of my good clothes into my backpack and left the bathroom.  I went back through the store and deposited my backpack full of dress clothes back into my car,and put on my paint jumpsuit while still in the parkinglot.  While sitting in my car, I put on my do-rag (no more painted hair for me) and braided up my hair, tieing it in the back.  I went to grab my wallet and it wasn't in my purse, oh yeah I remembered, its in my folder buried under everything else.  I settled for a couple dollars I had in my paint suit and went in to grab a soda and some el-cheapo crackers and head to work.  On the way back in the QT store, I seen the same man still standing by the door.  He took a double take on me.  He said, wow! You're cute either way you go!  I laughed and thanked him and he held the door for me again, he stood behind me in line and we chit chatted.  He flirted with me a bit, which was flattering, but it didn't knock my socks off.  We said goodbye as we walked out the door, and we were both on our way.  On the way back over the river, so I could go to work, there was a homeless man at the street corner,and I remembered the guys in the abandoned area where I had called my sister.  I immediately felt guilty for thinking the worst possible things, and I rolled down my window and gave him my el-cheapo crackers to which he thanked me profusely, he looked hungry to me.  Feeling pretty darn good about myself and even accomplished, I pulled into the drive to go into the warehouse.  I worked from 10:30 to 3:30pm.  I got alot done, and I wasn't tired at all.  I had a spring in my step and a song in my soul, and I was in control.  Fully in charge, and ready for anything.  I got home and the phone was ringing.  It was Smacktard, apparently my bank had called him for some reason trying to get ahold of me.  Thats when it all changed.......................

 

.............stay tuned for Lost and Found

I only worked a half a day today, so I got all my running done for the week, that I won't have to do at night now, and was home in time to get Ally-tude off the school bus.  I signed online to check the bank progress and let Ally-tude watch tv.  The local Public Broadcasting Station (PBS.)  had shut off the afternoon cartoons to do some more adult broadcasting!  Yay me!  As I watched TV for the first time in a week, I got pulled into a segment they had on Yoga.  I havn't done it now in prolly a month, I'm going to start again.   I feel a little tense. LOL.  Yoga is the only thing that I have ever found where its quiet.  With three kids and a crazy life, sometimes life seems to be spinning out of control.  I have it in grips though, right now I'm just hanging on for the ride.  I need to spend time in the mornings again just for me.  Instead of hitting snooze a couple times and then having to race around in the mornings.  I think thats just what the doctor ordered.

I know I didn't post yesterday, but I found another job!  Yay!!  Look forward to "Lost and Found" and "QT change-up"

Today I cheated.  I borrowed a couple hundred from my dad, to pay the sitter and get some groceries in the house, as well as pick up Toadman's meds.  Believe it or not, it took up most of the money he loaned me to do that.  Thats nothing new though, money seems to go pretty fast at times.  After this weekends activities, and the constant uproar lately, I was wiped out.  I had several appointments today, atty office, Health Department for my "blood test" for HIV and other blood born diseases, meet with the boys teachers, and I also had another interview today (which was canceled till tomarrow).  So after I got all my running done, it was only 11:30am.  I sat in my car and thought wow, I have nothing else to do today, till four when the kids get home.  WOW! Five hours all to myself, I was almost giddy. 

 

I did a guilty pleasure, somthng I really didn't have the money to do, but I went through the car and found a buck twenty-five.  Enough for a French Vanilla Cappy!  I went to my favorite park, and I laid down in the grass and just enjoyed the silence and the solitude for a bit.  I was laying on my side watching the water fountain shoot water up and letting it fall back down with a splash, all at different heights and intervals.  I refused to let myself think of anything, I refused to move.  I finally got up and picked some flowers that surround the fountain, and sat on the concrete bench still blessedly mind-numb to everything else.  I got up and walked around the fountain a few times, its one of my favorites after all.  I used to make wishes there, I really used to believe that they would come true.  Someday maybe they will, but to be honest?  I don't wish anymore.  I don't see the point in it, but thats another topic for another blog. 

 

The sun was shining and it was a beautiful 72 degrees out with very light winds.  The grass was dry, and the air smelled sweet.  I walked over to my little picnic spot there and leaned back against the tree to just relax, to be free.  I watched people walk up the fountain at first.  From where I was they can't see me, unless they are really looking hard, and I had the whole view of the fountain and the busy intersection.  There was at one point, there was a woman that came, and she walked right over to a concrete bench next to some black eyed susans that are in full bloom.  Dressed to the nines, would be an understatement.  She had beautiful long red hair that had just the right amount of curl, and jeans that flattered the curve of her butt, and flared out over her sandles.  I almost close enough to see the her perfectly arched eyebrows and her carefully applied make up.  She matched almost perfectly, and had a style and ease about her manner.  At the same time, she was very figety and kept touching her hair or rummaging through her purse, and never seeming to find what she was looking for.  Several times, she got up and walked briskly down the small sidewalk to the parkinglot on the other side (hidden from the street) and always returned to the same spot on the same concrete bench.  Finally she got up and paced all around the fountain no less that fifteen times.  Always had her eyes glued to the parking lot.  I don't know how long she sat there, I didn't have my watch on, but it seemed about twenty minutes.  After another marathon lap around the fountain, she sat down and I felt sorry for her.  No longer was she a vision of confidence and beauty. She looked defeated, and she wiped at her face like she was wiping away tears or rubbing her nose very delicately.  Her shoulders were slumped and she was bent over with her chin up on her knees watching the fountain, no longer touching her hair or smoothing her slacks.  She sat there for several minutes wiping her face, and looking at the water.  With what seemed a great effort she stood up, and dug deep into her pocket.  She pulled somthing out of her pocket, and she tossed it into the water, with a slight little plop.  She turned to go and walked most of the way down the little path, and looked back.  I could see now, because she was closer, that her mascara was smeared and her bottom lip was quivering.  She said alot to herself "I don't care, I don't have time" and then she left.  She walked just as briskly back to her car and she did walking up to the fountain.  She never looked back, and she never broke stride.  She drove out of the parkinglot, and down the road beside it, out of my view and out of my thoughts for the moment.  I felt sorry for her, but didn't think much else about it.

 

About ten mintues later, a man is running at breakneck speed.  So fast that he loses his ball cap and has to turn around and get it, never stopping his constant motion.  He stops near me, close enough for me to smell his colonge, and grabs a handfull of flowers roots and all.  Rips them out of the ground, never once slowing his feet.  The look on his face was almost panic, but definetly in a hurry.  He ran to the fountain and looked around.  He ran to the little grove of trees and disapeered.  A few minutes later he returned, walking very slowly, almost dejected as he flopped down on the same concrete bench that the woman before sat on.  He leaned back and put his hands behind him and looked up at the sky.  He looked for more than a moment, I wonder what he was thinking.  I knew somehow that he was there to meet up with the lady that was just there, the one that left so upset, the one that made the wish without even watching the penny hit the water.  After a few minutes, he stood up and stomped the ground for a second with his work boots, as if to get the dust off, flexed his muscels, and kinda shook his head as if to clear it.  I could see his face from this vantage point, the hard almost brick wall face.  The face that is so full of emotion that he masks it so completely, that maybe he even hides it from himself.  He still had the flowers in his fist.  He looked almost silly, such a big man, obviously one that works with his hands, one that is strong and proud, holding a hand full of black eyes susans.  He tossed them into the water, in about the same spot the other gal had haphazardly thrown the penny.  He watched the flowers float on the water for a mintues, and I noticed that the water from the fountain falling on the flowers had separated them, so all of the flowers from the group were floating opposit directions.  He left after that.  He walked slowly, and with his head down.  I watched him go, wondering if I should run after him and tell him that she had just left, or if I should just mind my own business, and let it go.  In the end, I did nothing, I didn't get up, I didn't run after him, I didn't even breathe for a minute or so.  I really had no idea if they were there to meet each other, I just had a feeling, but I've never known my feelings to be wrong before. 

 

After a bit, I got up myself, and I walked over to the fountain.  By this point,the flowers had dispersed all over the place, and some of the petals had fallen off.  It was almost tragic the way that it looked.  I looked father into the fountain, like I always do, to see how many wishes were in the pool of water.  Somtimes the kids and I try to guess how many, but not this time.  This time, there was one copper penny sunk to the bottom of the water.  Bright and shiney the light in the water played off of it beautifully.  There was only one penny, one single wish.  It had to be her's, the woman that waited and then left. 

 

Somtimes in life, we want things to happen and we wait around to see whats going to happen next, or we wait as long as we can, till finally we feel that we can wait no longer, and we decide to move on.  When one person decides to move on, somtimes the other person finally decides it's time to "make the move" to do somthing about it.  In this case, the man missed the woman because he was too late,she had already left.  That one penny, it looked so alone.  I picked a small flower and threw it in the water myself, I don't know why I did it, but I did it none the less.  Perhaps, they will call each other and get it straightened out.  To me?  It just seemed like a wasted effort between two people that obviously cared very much for each other.  As I walked away, I wondered how many times in my life that I had left too soon, or just didn't wait long enough.  I guess there is a reason for everything, and everything has a reason, it would just be so much easier for us all if we knew the reasons that things happened.

It's 2:00am, and I've been up sence 6:45 yesterday morning.  I don't know how many hours that is, I'm too tired to try and calculate it.  Last night my neighbor stabbed her husband.  Stabbed him 5 times to be exact.  I had no idea what was going on at the time. All I know is that I went to the door half asleep, to someone "cop knocking" (which is very loud and very forceful knocks) on my front door.  I immeadiatly answered, I have nothing to hide, and I'm not thinking right, I had just layed down and had gotten into a good deep sleep, so maybe 30 minutes or so.  Anyways, he actually beating on another neighbor's door, directly across from me.  When i answered the door he was starting to fall down and I caught him in my arms.  I didn't think as soon as I tied up his leg I called 911.  I wiped the blood off my hands and then put gloves on and tried to keep him calm.  Talked to him all the while putting so much pressure on the wound that I was worried I would make matters worse.  I could hear his wife walking the hallways yelling for him "I know you're here, I'll find you!"  When I seen the ambulance coming up the drive I ran out to flag it down, listening at the door, and running quietly, not knowing exactly where she is.   If she stabbed her husband what in the world would she do to me!

 

So I finally see the ambulance pulling closer and I go to run into the street to intercept it, and suddenly there is a light in my eyes, I can't see.   I hear a very firm voice tell me "Don't move"  I figured it was a cop and immeadiatly put my hands in the air and told him I wasn't armed.  I called to him that there was a man bleeding to death in my living room, that I could see the blood pumping out and I think he is going into shock, then I took a step forward.  From behind someone attacked me, I knew it was his wife, getting revenge on me for helping him, after she stabbed him.  I felt someone twists my wrists back and cuffs get thrown on me.  It was another cop, I tried to quit struggling, not that I really could have anyways, because his knee was in my back.  I was laying on the ground face first, handcuffed (and not in the good, groovy, cuff me slap my ass, make me like it way), begging to be let up, I have children inside and I havn't done anything wrong. 

 

Thats when I notice the gun in the officers hand, it was pointed at my head.  He was asking me where the weapon was, if I still had it on me.  They thought that I had stabbed someone, more on point they thought that I had stabbed my exhusband, when in truth I kinda fell into this, I couldn't let him die on my door step.  Finally, after a neighbor identified me, and they got more of the story they realized who I was and they let me up.  After a few minutes of explaining, I didn't stab anyone, I was trying to help and that I didn't want anyone dieing in my house, they believed that I wasn't the attacker, and that I could be allowed to go back up inside to my apartment.  A couple minutes after that I was allowed to return into my apartment, after they removed the almost unconsious man from my living room.  The kids didn't see much, other than the victim sitting on an old sheet, trying hard to keep from screaming, and I put the kids in their rooms with their headphones on, so they wouldn't hear too much.  I had never seen so much blood.  This afternoon, it was just being cleaned up about noonish.  Pools and squirt stains, I was shocked at the amount of blood that was let. 

 

With the blood comes dangers in this day and age.  I had blood on me to begin with, and no open wounds to speak of.  Now sence the cops decided to make me their little rag tackle doll, I have a couple minor scratches on my arm, that was covered in someone elses blood.  Which means the blood tests need to start.  Monday I have to go to the health deparment anyways.  Better safe than sorry, but it's really been on my mind.  Then again, right now, I'm so tired that I'm not even tired anymore.  I posted a couple pics, cause I'm foul like that, there are none of his wounds, but I took pics of the hallway in case they didn't clean it right and it needed to be redone.  It's some wicked shit.  One of the paramedics told me that I did the right thing in securing the wound, and applying hard pressure to get the blood to stop squirting out.  I felt not good, but maybe a little proud, maybe I did learn somthing in nursing school after all.

(Sometimes as a "grown-up" we get so caught up in our day to day lives that we often neglect to view things from the eyes of a child, especially when the child is one of our own.  Through the daily grind, and the race to get home to start dinner, and then off immeadiatly to activities that center around our children, we tend to forget to ask the most important question; how was your day?  Lately, sence starting my new job, dinner has been a haphazard mess.  Normally, the kids and I sit together at the table, that was once my mothers table, and we hold hands, say grace, and sing a silly song that Ally-tude has recently learned at school.  This past week though, nothing has been normal.  I'm so busy rushing through everything in the evening to get a chance just to sit down, that I have forgotten the importance of my childrens' feelings, thoughts, and ambitions during the day.  When I booted up my computer tonight I noticed that Toadman had made his own folder and had wrote me how his day was.  This was dated yesterday but it's too cute not to share.  All spelling and grammer mistakes have been included.  I hope you find it as enjoyable as I did.  Tomarrow night?  The kids are making dinner, and we are going to sit down again, as a family, and talk about our days.)

 

(In order for this story to have any true meaning, I must give you some background about my Toadman.  He's the oldest child, and he's prolly had it the roughest.  He was adopted by my exhusband when he was two years old.  As much as he loves Smacktard, somtimes his dad (smacktard) hasn't been so nice to him.  Throwing the fact that he was adopted in his face, and telling him that maybe if he wants somthing, ie new shoes or money for somthing, that he should go ask his real dad.  It's heartbreaking, but all I can do is assure him that I love him, and not to worry, because I'll never turn on him.  Toadman has A.D.H.D, which is somthing he inherited from me.  He has a hard time focusing and takes meds for it everyday.  He also has somewhat of a low self esteem, and is the "man of the house".  He doesn't seem to have many friends in years past at school, and he seems to have problems finding a "best friend".  This year he has really turned it around.  He has made several friends, and is even interacting at recess with the other kids, instead of playing by himself.  He has a part in the school play for 4th grade, and even has speaking lines and a solo part.  I couldn't be happier for him.  He has also started staying home alone for 15 mintues a day, till I can get home from work.  He's done very well, and hasn't once forgotten to call me when he lets himself in the door.  Even though he still teases his brother ruthlessly, and bosses his sister around like he owns the place, he has made dramatic improvements from the angry and disdraught 3rd grader from last year.  He's my first born and my little man.  Just saying that I love him isn't nearly enough.)

 

(As some days go, today probably wasn't the best day in the Sorta household.  Sometimes, being a single mother of three small children, is well, hard.  I have made huge efforts not to complain, and I have really tried to hold the strong face, but, like I said, some days are easier than others.  After a crappy day at work, and two back to back PTA meetings (one for each school) and coming home to a messy house that never seems to be cleaned quite right, sometimes I want to pull my hair out.  Run screaming for the hills, or bury my face in the pillow and hide under the covers and give up, because it's just too hard, and I can't take anymore.  Tonight, after I put the kids to bed, this is what I did.)

 

I dug deep into the freezer and found a bottle of VO that I keep hidden back there for those days when I just need to relax a little more than normal.  I poured a shot and then poured myself a tall glass of Diet Coke and took a huge chaser behind it.  Filling up the rest of the glass with what was left in the bottle of VO, I carefully hid it in the trash.  My children have never seen me drink, and I don't drink often, tonight though, I planned to get a little drunk.  Being in my 30s now, I've learned not to get too drunk, and I've had my days of wild parties, those are far behind me.  Tonight, I just needed somthing to take the edge off.  I sat in the chair and watched the "ghetto show" that unfolds before me every night.  With the light shut off, no one can see me, but I can see the actors to this show clearly in the light of the street lights.  I hear young black men talk about "poppin a cap" into some unsuspecting victim, and hear two women talk about pooling their money to buy a sack.  I hear a baby crying, and a man and woman arguing.  I can see headlights start down the drive on the other end of my apartment complex slowly come my way, and a floodlight illuminates dark areas that aren't lighted by street posts.  For a few minutes, all is quiet, no sounds are heard, except for the baby crying, and soon that stops too.  The police car cruises through slowly, and then turns out of the parking lot, and will not return for another two and half hours, unless they are called.  Almost immediatly, I smell pot smoke, looks like the two homegirls got it together. I've learned not to ask to many questions.  The man and woman begin to argue again, and the young men come back out to prowl. 

 

Walking to the kids' bedrooms, I turn on their fans, and pull the covers up over them so they don't get cold.  I kiss them on the forhead, and make sure each has their favorite stuffed animal, and I silently pull their door closed.  Walking through the living room, I take my keys in hand, drink in the other, and quietly slip out the door and lock it behind me.  I tiptoed through the hallway of my building and out the back door.  Away from all the people, away from the pot smoking ladies, away from the "tough" young black men.  I just needed a few moments, just some time away from the world, I needed to breathe.  I opened the broken back door, it's been broken for a year now, I can't tell how many times I have reported it to matience.  I grab the broom that is hidden in the shadows and sweep off the back stoop.  Sweeping off broken glass and bits of grass from yesterdays mow.  I finished sweeping and sat down on the cold step.  The whiskey was keeping me warm, and I didn't have a sweater with me.  There is no light in the back of the building, and I like it just fine that way.  Quietly, sipping my drink, smoking a cigarette, looking around at nothing at all.  The days events keep playing through my head.  Bad day at work, bill collectors ringing the phone off the hook.  Need to pay for Toad's costume for the school play, Doodle needs his glasses fixed, Ally-tude has an appointment with the Neurologist next week, need the money for the copay for that.  Money money money.  At the same time, my thoughts keep drifting back to the way that I yelled at the kids for not cleaning their rooms, and wondering if I put way to much responcibility on my oldest child, and wonder if he's growing up normally.  Wonder if any of them are.  As I'm thinking I lay back against the cold concrete and look up at the heavens.  At a blackish sky, but still too much light to see stars.

 

I can't really hear the rest of the world anymore, I've tuned them out, back into my own private sector, no one else is allowed.  I flip my cigarette into the weeds that pass for grass, and watch the tiny ember wink out.  I think about my folks, and how disappointed my dad would be if he would see me now.  Laying on the cement, feeling sorry for myself.  I have a sudden flash of my dad when I was a kid.  On the back deck of the small house we first lived in, with a broken broom handle pointing out the constelations.  Sorta... do you remember where the big dipper is?  RiRi can you find Orion?  I remember how warm and how safe I felt wrapped up in a blanket on those redwood beams, thinking that life would always be just like this, and that my daddy would take care of me.  While I was still smiling at the memory, I began to feel the sting of my tears in my eyes.  It was a very long time ago that I felt safe.   I sat up and downed the rest of my drink in two big gulps, and I shook my head to clear my tears.  I stood up and walked back up the stairs to my apartment, quietly put the lock in the deadbolt, and turned it till I heard it click.  I opened the door silently, and noticed that Toadman had found his way to the couch and was fast asleep. 

 

I gently shook his shoulder, and told him "get back in bed baby".  Toad, he wasn't asleep, sat up and looked at me "Mom,  were you on the back stoop?"  I nodded and said that I was and not to worry, I would never leave him.  He hugged me, without me asking him to, and said "Mommy, things will be ok, you'll see".  I hugged him back fiercely and sent him off to bed.  I clicked off the light in the living room, and then looked at the pile of bills on the table.  I locked the deadbolt and threw the chain on the door, I picked up the checkbook and started making out the bills, dividing up what we had an making notes to make arrangements on the ones that I couldn't yet pay.  Outside, the young men were back, right under my window, one of them asked if another had a blunt shell.  Cringing, I hoped that Toadman didn't hear that kind of talk, and I hoped that his fan would make enough white noise so that he didn't hear it.  I crept to my room and made my bed, as lonely as it may be, and I switched on the lamp.  Tonight?  I'll sleep, tomarrow will be better.

I actually snagged this from Three Hour Tour.  I'm in a block for somthing to write about, and I'm not wanting to write somthing personal, even though I have a few ideas (stay tuned for those).  So here it goes!!

 

 

 

 

I woke up this morning, and was reminded of how I woke up five years ago today.  I was still married at the time, and I was barely pregnant with my third child.  The two boys were sleeping, and my step daughter was already at school.  I woke up to the telephone ringing, and it was a bill collector.  My first thought is "Man, I'm sleeping and puking my guts up!  What the hell do you want!"  All that changed when I heard the man on the other end of the phone say "Lady, the United States is under attack."  Then there was a click in my ear.  Not really believing it, I flipped on the TV and sure enough, we were.  I tuned in just in time to see the second plane hit building two of the World Trade Center.  I watched in horror as people jumped to their deaths from the tops of the buildings.  Later in the day there were reports of two more planes, one that hit the Pentagon and one that crashed in the feild in Penn.  When the towers fell, I watched in awe, along with the rest of the world.  I woke up the children and put them in bed with me, and held them tight to me, and I put my hand on my belly, wondering what would happen next.  We all have heard the media and the protesters, war and peace, peace and war.  9-11 will never be forgotten for me, the day that the United States changed. 

 

My family has very few military ties.  There are a few hower, my grandfather was a Marine, and my uncle is in the Air Force.  Although not in my family, my dear Lil' Bit is in the Army, currently serving his third tour, no matter how humble he may be about it.  Not wanting to the into the commercial racket of 9-11, I decided that both of the boys were old enough to learn a little about war, and to see for themselves, and maybe they would remember too.  Today, after Ally-tude got onto her bus, I took the boys and we headed to our local VFW chapter, here in North Kansas City.  While Toad was standoffish (as per the norm) Doodlebug was all excited about a "before school feild trip".  So with boys in hand we headed into the VFW.  Inside there were three men.  One of them was older, and reminded me a bit of my beloved grandfather.  This man was also a Marine.  He took the boys by the hand, and showed them the American flag.  Proudly, he told my children that he was a police officer but he was also a soldier.  That he defended the country and that freedom is NOT free.  He showed them pictures of himself in his dress blues, and showed him pictures of other soldier that lived and died so that our country may be free.  I was humbled when he pulled out my chair so that I may sit and share coffee with him, and  I was thrilled when my boys shook his hand like men.  I was moved by the whole thing.  The man, Butch, was too.  He thanked me several times for bringing the boys in to visit with him, and he asked me to bring them again.  He told me that he wasn't proud of alot of things in his life, but children remind him of his own mortality, especially in an age of "medical advancement".  He told me that he never had children.  He came back from the war and never had the need for children of his own then.  He told me he regrets not having grandchildren though, and when he said that he looked at my children and smiled in a far away kinda way. 

 

I wondered then what it was like.  To be a soldier and come home to a country that welcomed you, even though you were totally uncomfortable in your own skin.  It made me think of Lil' Bit and how life will be for him when he finally comes home for good.  My uncle who just recently returned, and whom I have to go see again.  Today was humbling for me, not only for the rememberence of the horrific day of 9-11, but for the war that is still on going.  For our soldiers who live and breath our freedom, and who would lay down their lives, so that we may enjoy our freedoms for one more day.  Thanks Lil' Bit, thanks Uncle R____, thanks Grandad may you rest in peace.  Even though your not here with me now, you are in my heart, and in my thoughts.  May God protect us all.

While searching for other things to put into my blog, I foudn a bunch of new gadgets.  One I like alot is the games section.  Let me tell ya, it was hard to pick just one game.  I'm definetly a child of the 80s, born in 1976.  I had 3 pairs of shoes laces in my LA Gears, and I learned to do the moonwalk when Micheal "prevert" Jackson was still cool.  I had Smurfs and Strawberry Shortcake, and my favorite was Rainbow Bright.  I loved Fraggle Rock and had my jeans tight rolled.  I even had mall hair, with the big big style.... ok so I still do.  I can't help it!  I love the 80s! 

 

Which makes the newest item on my blog even better.  Mario has come to Sorta's blog!  If you are on dial up, it's going to take a few minutes for it to load, but it's so worth it!  What could make it any better?  The Legend of Zelda of course.  So if anyone knows where to find it, please let me know.  Have fun!  The kids and I have been playing off and on all weekend, let's see who can get the top score!!

Normally, I have no problems getting Toadman and Ally-tude to eat anything.  From cabbage to deer meat, I have no problems with their diets.  The only thing I have a problem with is getting those two to STOP eating.  I swear, Toadman is gettig to the age to where he eats me out of house and home, literally.  Normally?  Dinner for him is three helpings of every food that I make.  I tend to make alot of food, not only because I have a growing family but because it's easier to warm up left overs for lunch, than to create another meal.  Anyways, I had some bagged salad that was starting to look a little funny.  I figured I'd make some fish sticks and crunch them over the salad, and then set something else out for dinner.  So I made it all, and set the table and called the Sorta Trio to lunch.  We said our prayers, and then began to dig in.  About twenty seconds into the meal, Doodle spits out his food, making a HUGE mess.  Trying hard to reign in my temper, I glared at him over the table.  Doodle HATES salad.  Which is why I put fishsticks on it.  Actually, Doodle hates everything that is not covered in chocolate or deep fat fried.  Sometimes, it drives me crazy, and Doodlebug has went to bed hungry more than once, when I'm finally fed up, and order him to bed. 

 

Anyways back to the salad incident.  After everyone else was done eating their salad and enjoying a peanut butter chocolate treat, Doodle bug was sit sitting there whining about his salad.  After much bargaining and deal cutting, he endedup sitting on the floor with his sister's Dora the Explorer table-thingy.  After an hour went by, I was pretty much done with him and his pickiness.  He never did finish it, and it was gross this morning when I looked at it in the 'fridge, so I threw it out.  I got a picture of him trying to eat it.  And as you can tell, he really really fought me on this one.

Everyone sit down, kick your feet up and let your hair down, it's the weekend.  Yesterday, it was Saturday.  After a Friday night of the kids sitting by the window waiting for their dad again, I ended up putting them in bed, with a kicking screaming fit.  They just "wanted to wait one more hour" for their dad.  After alot of tears, and one more kiss and hug, then another drink of water, and of course one more trip to the bathroom, we didn't end up going to bed till after 11:00pm.  Sheesh, talk about a late night.  During one of the stories I read, the phone rang and I couldn't get to it in time, I had too many kids piled on me.  Low and behold.... it was my dear old friend Lil' Bit!!  Talk about a shock.  Would you believe that he still sounds exactly the same as he did 12 years ago?  Amazing eh?  Of course he's in Iraq right now, and I don't have a number to call him back.  So I jumped online for a bit, then headed to bed myself.

 

Saturday, well, thats let's clean up our filthy house day.  Let me tell ya, with me working all week, and being too tired to do much at night, the house really needed some TLC.  We took a break and I got online to read the paper.  I wasn't online more than 10 minutes, and Lil' Bit called again.  DAMN IT!!  Yeah, I missed his call again.  Sheesh, talk about bad timing.  So I figued I'd just hang offline and wait for him to call.  Poor guy prolly thinks I'm ignoring him.  LOL. 

 

So the house cleaning frenzy started again.  Today, the bedrooms got cleaned.  I was furious that all the school clothes that I bought for them were laying all over the bedroom floors.  Money that I didn't have, and that I could have used for other stuff than new school clothes, and they were not bein taken care of.  What was my solution?  I took their dressers away.  Personally?  I don't have a dresser, I have an old cardboard dresser that has four drawers.  Now I have three dressers in my room.  Are the kids upset?  You betcha.  Do I mind that they are upset?  No, not really.  Of course my room is jam-packed now, but I really don't mind.  Least I'm not seething mad.  I told them also, if ya don't pick up your toys?  Toyboxes come out next kids.  I'm so not their favorite person right now.

 

Finally put the kids in bed about 8:00pm.  They were ready and i was tired.  Grabbed my Alfred Hitchcock book and started to read.  About 9:30pm the phone rang.  The was supposed to be about the tim that Lil' Bit was supposed to call originally.  LOL.  To be honest?  My heart skipped a beat and for some reason I got really really nervous, I didn't even pick up the phone till the third ring.  Who was it?  I've got NO idea.  Some guy asked for Jahad.  I thought he said Shawn, but no he said Jahad.  I told him he had the wrong number, and he asked me what I was wearing, and I hung up the phone.  Sheesh, some people.  I had to laugh at myself though.  Getting nervous over a telephone call.  I felt pretty silly.  Anyways, he didn't end up calling last night, but that's ok, I know things happen.  If nothing else, it was good to get a couple messages from him. 

 

So after that call, I read some more till I passed out in sleep.  I had a dream last night, talk about weird.  I went to Iraq to visit my friend, and I was in a room that was lined with bunks and cots all along the long walls of this hall.  Lil' Bit was sitting on a cot, but he wasn't 29, he was 17 again, with his Nebraska Cornhuskers hat on, turned backwards of course (it always was worn like that).  He was sitting there playing cards and looked up, seen me said "i'll be right back", smiled, then walked into a hallway.  At that point I looked at my watch!  ACK!  I was gonna miss my plane.  So I jumped up and ran out the door.  Instead of a sandy desert?  It was the front yard to my apartment building.  Miss T___, was sitting on the steps and I was amazed that she was there, I asked her if she had seen Lil Bit, she told me, "Girl!  I'm making up some fried chicken, you and the kids come over later for dinner."  At that point I woke up, weirdest damn dream.  LOL. 

 

Anyways, thats enough for now.  Time to get the Sunday show on the road.  Everyone have a great start of a new week.